The holidays are here again. From Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day can be rough with family gatherings, gifts to buy, work obligations, travel, cards to send, parties to attend…all of the things that make for a great holiday season can also put a lot of pressure on us and negative emotions can easily get the better of us, especially if we add being single to the mix. Sometimes, I just want to go to a Caribbean island alone, without cell service and ride the holidays out there.

Since my Caribbean island fantasy is not reality, I have learned to practice a way of getting through the holidays in one mentally healthy piece. Praying (of course!) and choosing what I want to feel ahead of time. Our feelings don’t just happen to us, even though it may seem that way. Our thoughts create our feelings. When something happens in the world, we have a thought about it and that thought causes us to feel a certain way. So when I am at a Christmas party and asked for the hundredth time, if I am still single?, I can feel annoyed because I am thinking that people need to lay off with the questions about my love life (I am more than my relationship status people!) or I can decide, before I arrive, that I am going to feel amused by the inevitable interest and choose to think that it’s funny that people are so “concerned”. It’s not like I ask them if they are still married? Wouldn’t that be fun!

Deciding what you want to think and feel ahead of time is a powerful thing. You are not at the mercy of reacting in the moment (my auto reaction is to be annoyed or hurt) and instead have a tool to keep you in the drivers seat of your emotions. If you want to enjoy that family gathering, no matter what is thrown your way, practice thinking a thought ahead of time that supports the feeling of enjoyment. You’ve got this my friends. Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! And God bless you!

Blessings,

Angela